Summat had got to
be done sharp like, an’
Moses his cap in his
hand,
Stood on a dune, tapped
his mug with a spoon
‘till his people were
all gathered round,
He said how there’d been
a decision, to take all
his people away,
“We need to get cracking
there’s boxes for
packing, it’s not like
Blackpool fer t’day”.
“The part of the world
we will head for,” He
said with a face all
salome,
"Is a place you'll never
have 'eard off, a new
spot by t'sea we'll call
home,
They'll not be no time
for sand-castles, and
don't bring biscuits or
pop,
This 'ere is a serious
outing, an' I doubt
there'll be time for a
stop”.
There was grumblin's
about the idea, and
pensioners made some
good points,
Like who's going to
arrange for some
transport, 'cos old folk
can't walk on old
joints,
Mostly folks thought it
were crazy, all that
they needed was here,
They’d got grub to eat
and had shoes on their
feet, and had been here
for many a year.
But Moses faced up to
these problems, an' said
as how just last night,
He'd been sound asleep
and quite sober, when
he'd woke to a wonderful
sight,
A picture laid out afore
him, showing such
wonderful scenes,
A land full of honey an'
Marmite, mint humbugs,
bananas and beans.
This didn't go down well
wi' some folks, an some
of 'em told as they had,
Gone to Moses' last
birthday, an' been given
cold fish that were bad,
An' others told tales of
bad judgement, telling
as not long ago,
Old Moses 'ad organised
pancakes but didn't know
how to make t'dough.
His planning 'ad never
been perfect but he knew
in his heart how this
would,
Be one of those things
they'd put in a book,
like Noah in’t great
Skipton flood,
He kept up the pressure
twice daily, 'till folks
were beginning to see,
As 'appen Old Whiskers
could do it, an' he
could make a nice pot o'
tea.
So after debating an'
thinking, an' hours
spent chewing the fat,
They decided to give him
one final chance, an'
for a while he could
wear t'leaders hat,
But by now it were well
past their bed times,
an' some had missed out
on their teas,
So Moses put his 'and in
his pocket, an' all
round it were fish,
chips an' peas.
All the next day it were
hectic as folks searched
out their best rags,
But no-body had thought
about shop times, an’
there simply weren’t
enough bags,
"Don't panic", said
Moses quite loudly, an'
people looked up to him
then,
"I've got an arrangement
with Burton's, tonight
they'll stay open 'till
ten".
So by evening everyones
ready, their belongings
they’d managed to pack,
Basins, an' jugs, an'
kettles and mugs, all
stashed on their camels'
roof rack,
They set off across the
dark sand dunes, it were
black as a coal-miners
neck,
Left at Lane Ends and
over the bridge and back
for a trip round the
rec.
There were just one
doubt that were nagging,
it lay heavy on Moses'
mind,
He knew once a week the
Faroe came round, an'
wondered at what he
would find,
It didn't take long as
Moses summised, afore
t'Faroe were packing his
bowl,
Dreaming of goodies like
Hot-pot and roast,
Yorkshire pudding and
Toad-in-the 'ole. |
